Treehugger.  I try hard, but with trunks that big, it ain’t easy…

Yup, I love trees.  Love ’em.  —  Which is why I have no interest in wiping my ass with them.

For the love of god, if nothing else, toilet paper, of all things, should come from recycled paper.  The best way to disrespect and disregard something – wipe your shit-covered ass with it.

I think this is why this brand of tiolet paper chose to call themselves “Green Forest”: to remind you what your traditional tiolet paper really is.

Disclaimer: Green Forest gave me hundreds of thousands of dollars for this endorsement.

Disclaimer II: HA! If that was the case, my tiny house would already be built and parked on a radical piece of property from which I would be exercising my full early retirement lifestyle.  I have acquired not a cent from Green Forest.  Nuts!  I just dig their tiolet paper.

Disclaimer III:  Contrary to the normal trend of trilogies, I’ve got nothing.  But, they’re usually the best in the series! D’oh!